Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Creative Misfortune Power Rankings ~ Preseason (2013)

Creative Misfortune Power Rankings are based on a complicated formula that takes into account, among other things, a team's projected ability to score an Offensive Fumble Recovery TD. All power rankings guaranteed to be less accurate than real NFL team abilities on any given Sunday and are subject to change on a weekly basis.

When it comes to Creative Misfortune Power Rankings, production is combined with potential to determine a team's true strength compared to the rest of the league. Winning isn't the only factor, but it is one of the most important components of the rating. I don't believe teams can be powerful if they consistently lose, even to other great teams.

The Forked Few~
     Abandon hope and fortune all ye who rank here

     # 32 - Kansas City Chiefs (previous: NA)
                    Another year of rebuilding… even in a weaker division, the Chiefs will be hard pressed to climb out of the AFC cellar. Alex Smith may give them some stability at quarterback, but too many pieces are missing for KC to realistically challenge for the playoffs this season.

     # 31 - Jacksonville Jaguars (previous: NA)
                    Far too many questions abound about the Jaguars heading into the season, not the least of which being the health of Maurice Jones-Drew. Without him at 100%, the Jaguars have no shot. With him at 100%, they barely have any in a stacked division.

     # 30 - Philadelphia Eagles (previous: NA)
                    The blur offense may work in college… Coach Kelly will have to prove it can work in the NFL in order for the Eagles to have any kind of success this year.

     # 29 - New York Jets (previous: NA)
                    Quarterback carousels are never good, especially when none of the quarterbacks are worthwhile and the head coach has demonstrated little more than the ability to be a blowhard.

     # 28 - Arizona Cardinals (previous: NA)
                    The Cardinals will be better, Fitgerald will catch a few more passes, but Arizona is the odd-team out in one of the NFL's toughest divisions.



The Creatively Challenged~
     Folly remains ever their mistress

     # 27 - Detroit Lions (previous: NA)
                    All the potential in the world will not translate into wins again this season.

     # 26 - Oakland Raiders (previous: NA)
                    Having cut the great Chris Kluwe, how can this franchise hope to compete when it will be punting more than most other teams in the league?

     # 25 - Tennessee Titans (previous: NA)
                    Can Chris Johnson hit 2,500 yards before Adrian Peterson? Doubtful, but he will have to get pretty close to that number if Tennessee is going to be at all relevant this year.

     # 24 - Buffalo Bills (previous: NA)
                    Despite the uncertainty at quarterback, they could very well surprise some people and steal some games in the AFC East.

     # 23 - Miami Dolphins (previous: NA)
                    Losing Dustin Keller was a big blow, but even with him, who knows how efficiently the Dolphins could have moved the ball on offense. Defense will win games for them, if there are any to be won.

     # 22 - Cleveland Browns (previous: NA)
                    Like the Cardinals, the Browns will be better this year, but they are once again the forgotten team in the tough AFC Central division.

     # 21 - St. Louis Rams (previous: NA)
                    Creative Misfortune's surprise team of 2013. Will they make the playoffs? No, but they will have a say in who gets there.



The Remarkably Average~
     Dancing the fine line between misfortune and glory

     # 20 - Carolina Panthers (previous: NA)
                    The Panthers will continue to struggle with inconsistent performance, despite another great season from Cam Newton.

     # 19 - New Orleans Saints (previous: NA)
                    All offense and absolutely no defense. Hard to win games week in and week out when your offense has to light up the scoreboard and put up 40+ points just to have a chance to win.

     # 18 - Minnesota Vikings (previous: NA)
                    2012's playoff appearance was a fluke created by Adrian Peterson's sheer tenacity… That performance will be difficult to repeat this season, especially with the resurgence of the Bears and the Packers.

     # 17 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers (previous: NA)
                    A young team two years ago that suffered a sophomore slump in 2012. Hard to say which way the Buccaneers will go in 2013. For now, let's just say they have potential.

     # 16 - Dallas Cowboys (previous: NA)
                    Constantly underachieving, despite the star power on this roster. Will 2013 be any different? Recent history says 8-8 and a missed opportunity to make the playoffs is what should be expected from the Cowboys once again this season.

     # 15 - Baltimore Ravens (previous: NA)
                    The defending Super Bowl Champions… and I don't see them even making the playoffs. Not sure why, just a gut feeling.

     # 14 - Pittsburgh Steelers (previous: NA)
                    When I think of an aging team, I think of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Is there still some fight left in these old dogs? Absolutely… but injuries, more than their opponents, will determine if the Steelers make the playoffs in 2013.

     # 13 - Indianapolis Colts (previous: NA)
                    Andrew Luck proved he could do it. Watch out for a sophomore slump… his numbers will be good, but I question the ability of the Colts in general to play over their heads again this season like they did last year en route to the playoffs.



The Fortunate Seven~
     The best of those not yet elite

     # 12 - Cincinnati Bengals (previous: NA)
                    AFC Central champions… this pick seemed so "out there" a week or two ago, but now a lot of people have hopped on Cincinnati's bandwagon. That doesn't bode well for a franchise that has not traditionally thrived under pressure.

     # 11 - Green Bay Packers (previous: NA)
                    These aren't the Super Bowl champion Packers of a few years ago, but Rodgers can still throw the ball and the defense can still stop people. If they ever develop a running game, they could be nigh unstoppable, especially once the weather turns for the worse late in the year.

     # 10 - Washington Redskins (previous: NA)
                    RGIII is for real. Shanahan has done everything he can to keep him healthy. Now it's up to the young quarterback to learn the fine art of sliding and sneaking out of bounds before he ends another season early because of injury.

     # 9 - San Diego Chargers (previous: NA)
                    Often overlooked lately, the Chargers will be far more competitive this season than a lot of people believe. With all the expectations on the Broncos to carry the division, San Diego can relax and do what they need to do to sneak into the playoffs.

     # 8 - Chicago Bears (previous: NA)
                    The Monsters of the Midway are without Brian Urlacher, but that won't change how they play defense. And with the offense coming together, the Bears will definitely be a force to be reckoned with in the NFC.

     # 7 - New York Giants (previous: NA)
                    I can't figure these guys out and nobody else can either, which is why they will most likely finish the season as division champions once again.

     # 6 - Atlanta Falcons (previous: NA)
                    Last year was their year and the Falcons missed out. The window of opportunity has not closed completely on Atlanta, but there are still so many post-season questions that have to be answered before anybody will give Matt Ryan and Company the benefit of the doubt.



The Creative Elite~
     Wielding misfortune at its finest

     # 5 - San Francisco 49ers (previous: NA)
                    The 49ers look about as impressive as a team can look coming out of the preseason. If it weren't for the Seahawks, they'd run away with their division.

     # 4 - Houston Texans (previous: NA)
                    Now or never for the Texans. No other franchise has as big of a "do or die" label associated with it this season.

     # 3 - Seattle Seahawks (previous: NA)
                    A Super Bowl favorite of many, I am still not convinced. If Seattle can wrest the division title from the 49ers, they certainly have a shot to make it to the big dance next February.

     # 2 - New England Patriots (previous: NA)
                    Despite all the off-field distractions and the on-field question marks, you just know the Patriots are coming into the 2013 season ready to play the game their way. Playing in one of the league's weakest divisions doesn't hurt their chances to claim home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, either.

     # 1 - Denver Broncos (previous: NA)
                    Manning is back… and could have been even more so last year if Denver's defense hadn't let him down. Could another playoff battle between Brady and Manning be in the cards? I certainly wouldn't complain if these two Hall of Fame quarterbacks met one last time with the AFC Championship at stake.



Creative Misfortune Super Bowl XLVIII Favorite ~ Preseason

New England Patriots


Check back tomorrow for week 1 predictions.

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