When it comes to Creative Misfortune Power Rankings, winning isn't the only thing, but it is the most important component of the rating. I don't believe teams can be powerful if they consistently lose, even to other great teams.
The Forked Few~
Abandon hope and fortune all ye who rank here
# 32 - Kansas City Chiefs (previous: 32)
Note to self: At the end of a miserable season, they'll fire you anyway, so you might as well start calling the plays yourself. Signed, Todd Haley.
# 31 - St. Louis Rams (previous: 30)
Note to self: Bruised, but not broken. Shaken, but not stirred. Winless, but not out of it. Signed, Sam Bradford.
# 30 - Indianapolis Colts (previous: 29)
Note to self: With Manning most likely gone for the year, talk with coaches about manufacturing some "Luck" for our future. Signed, Jim Irsay.
# 29 - Miami Dolphins (previous: 28)
Note to self: If you can’t be part of the solution, complain loudly about the problem. Signed, Reggie Bush.
# 28 - Minnesota Vikings (previous: 26)
Note to self: When up by two touchdowns, let Peterson run the ball. Also, don't forget the game lasts a full 60 minutes. I think that's a new rule this year. Signed, Leslie Frazier.
The Creatively Challenged~
Folly remains ever their mistress
# 27 - Jacksonville Jaguars (previous: 25)
Note to self: Take the blame for mental lapses at the end of games. That is the best way to instill team owners with confidence in your leadership abilities. Signed, Jack Del Rio.
# 26 - Seattle Seahawks (previous: 31)
Note to self: 7-9 division champions two years in a row? That would be some kind of record! No need to aim high when you play in the NFC West. Signed, Pete Caroll.
# 25 - Carolina Panthers (previous: 27)
Note to self: Points matter more than passing yards. Seems counterintuitive, but isn’t. Signed, Cam Newton.
# 24 - Denver Broncos (previous: 24)
Note to self: You can’t avoid the Tim Tebow question all season long. Signed, John Fox.
# 23 - Arizona Cardinals (previous: 21)
Note to self: We weren't built to run. Throw me the ball! Signed, Larry Fitzgerald.
# 22 - Cincinnati Bengals (previous: 18)
Note to self: When everything is starting to go wrong, guarantee the ridiculous and everything will be fine. Signed, Marvin Lewis
# 21 - Chicago Bears (previous: 14)
Note to self: Tell the coaches we need to hand the ball off more. Less chance of getting killed- I mean - sacked on those kinds of plays. Signed, Jay Cutler.
The Remarkably Average~
Dancing the fine line between misfortune and glory
# 20 - Atlanta Falcons (previous: 16)
Note to self: Play fakes do not work if nobody thinks you can, or are going to, run the ball effectively. Signed, Mike Mularkey.
# 19 - Philadelphia Eagles (previous: 9)
Note to self: A left-handed, running quarterback does not need his right hand to be successful. Signed, Michael Vick.
# 18 - Cleveland Browns (previous: 23)
Note to self: Never give up the never-give-up attitude. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Let's just say it has potential. Signed, Colt McCoy
# 17 - Dallas Cowboys (previous: 22)
Note to self: Kickers, although slow and dangerous to put on the football field, can still serve a purpose. Signed, Jason Garrett.
# 16 - Tampa Bay Buccaneers (previous: 20)
Note to self: Next time, don’t do a little birdy dance when you score a rushing touchdown. That looked just downright silly on ESPN. Signed, Josh Freeman.
# 15 - San Diego Chargers (previous: 15)
Note to self: Keep playing down to your opponent's level. That keeps the games so much more interesting for fans. Signed, Philip Rivers.
# 14 - Washington Redskins (previous: 7)
Note to self: Find out what type of football team you have. You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself. Also, big blitz in more obvious situations. Blitzes without mercy always work at this level. Signed, Mike Shanahan.
# 13 - Oakland Raiders (previous: 17)
Note to self: Get revenge for the infamous hot dog incident of 2009. Check. Re-establish the running game a la Marcus Allen. Check. Just win, Baby. Check! Signed, Hue Jackson.
The Fortunate Seven~
The best of those not yet elite
# 12 - New York Giants (previous: 19)
Note to self: You are the Manning of the league now. Make the family proud. Signed, Eli Manning.
# 11 - Tennessee Titans (previous: 13)
Note to self: With our team's star wide receiver out for the year with an ACL, gain more than 2 yards a carry, even if all that money in the bank is weighing me down. Signed, Chris Johnson.
# 10 - Pittsburgh Steelers (previous: 11)
Note to self: Aged steel is still strong enough to win. It's been tempered by fire. Signed, The Steel Curtain.
# 9 - Houston Texans (previous: 5)
Note to self: Continue to keep the running backs listed on the injury reports as "Questionable, Game-Time Decisions". Fantasy football players love that stuff. Signed, Gary Kubiak.
# 8 - San Francisco 49ers (previous: 12)
Note to self: Now you are following in Walsh's footsteps. He beat the Bengals twice, you know. Signed, Jim Harbaugh.
# 7 - New York Jets (previous: 3)
Note to self: When the media focuses too much on your most recent loss (especially if it's a game that could have easily been won), start bickering with a franchise legend. Sure, it won't be pretty, but then again, neither is your offense. Signed, Rex Ryan.
# 6 - New Orleans Saints (previous: 10)
Note to self: All we have to do is stay one point ahead of the other guys and then everything will be fine. Signed, Drew Brees.
The Creative Elite~
Wielding misfortune at its finest
# 5 - Buffalo Bills (previous: 6)
Note to self: Still young and unproven, we have nothing to lose! Harvard and Coe - what an explosive combination. Signed, Ryan Fitzpatrick.
# 4 - New England Patriots (previous: 1)
Note to self: Four touchdowns, good. Four interceptions, bad. If possible, pick up a running game before next week. Signed, Tom Brady.
# 3 - Baltimore Ravens (previous: 8)
Note to self: Recipe for success - Passing opens up the running game. Running opens up the passing game. The defense crushes the opposition. Quoth the Raven.
# 2 - Detroit Lions (previous: 2)
Note to self: Get Megatron two touchdowns against the Cowboys this week to shut Cris Carter up. Signed, Mathew Stafford.
# 1 - Green Bay Packers (previous: 4)
Note to self: Defense wins championships and we are more than just a flashy offense. Signed, Clay Matthews.
Week 3 Power Ranking Awards:
The Free Fallers - Philadelphia Eagles (-10), Washington Redskins (-7), Chicago Bears (-7), New York Jets (-4), Houston Texans (-4)
The Biggest Movers - New York Giants (+7), Baltimore Ravens (+5), Dallas Cowboys (+5), Cleveland Browns (+5), Seattle Seahawks (+5)
Maintaining The Status Quo - Detroit Lions (2), San Diego Chargers (15), Denver Broncos (24), Kansas City Chiefs (32)
Creative Misfortune Super Bowl XLVI Favorite ~ After Week 3
Check back tomorrow for week 4 predictions.
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