When it comes to the Oregon State Beavers, Scottie V is prone to poetry, though he can't carry a tune to save his life. Prepare to learn more about the Pac-10 Beavers than you ever wanted to know as they get ready to take on #6 ranked TCU...
“The House That Jerry Built”
They call it “The House That Jerry Built”
I call it the place where Horned Frog guts will be spilt
Led by a confident quarterback, hometown boys and veteran D
The Beavs will run roughshod on the world’s largest HDTV
They call it “The Eighth Wonder of the World”
I call it the place where TCU’s dreams will come unfurled
The Beavs have weapons the likes unseen in the Mountain West
And Riley’s been cooking up x’s and o’s with a little more zest
They say they keep the roof open so God can watch His favorite team
I say “How egotistical can one franchise be?!”
(Misfortune note: Wait a minute! That sounds like a knock on the Cowboys!)
God doesn’t need a window and His first priority is the kneelers
Besides, don’t you all know He’s really a fan of the Steelers?
They call this dust-ridden territory the Lonestar State
A place where Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson used to mate
The home of good salsa, unlike that of New York City
If only those saps tried Reser’s, oh, such a pity!
They boldly claim “everything’s bigger in Texas”
This is why the stature of the Rodgers’ brothers does vex us
But what they lack in size, they make up for in brawn
So, buckle up boys because it’s on like Tron!
They say in the press we are 14-point ‘dogs
But I’ve never known a Beaver who backed down from some Frogs
Just as surely as the Cowboys’ Cheerleaders will be wearing spurs and chaps
The Beavers will roll into Texas and they’re gonna kick their ass!
Scottie V's Final Score Prediction: Oregon State Beavers 27, TCU Horned Frogs 23
Next week, predicted standings for all NFL teams, playoff and Super Bowl favorites plus the first official Creative Misfortune Power Rankings of the 2010 season...
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